the method of "starving artist: the lotto plan"

i decided to begin the piece this week, tuesday, to be exact.

even though the idea was in my head since april to do this, it wasn't until the last few weeks that i've heard myself actually thinking about "the lotto plan."

then, once i decided i would actually do this piece (as most artists i know, i have a long list of pieces that are stuck in my head and never actually executed), i set out a method.

first, i researched the types of lotteries in texas. i went to the website and looked at everything from mega millions to scratch-offs. each game had its merits. i toyed with many possibilities. mega millions had the biggest jackpot. scratch-offs would have better odds and more colorful pieces to use for my physical documentation of the piece. texas lotto felt more "local." and texas two-step kept beckoning me everytime i would pass the billboard going home from softball.

i ultimately decided to play mega milions because it was more in the vein of how i envision "the lotto plan."

firstly, when i fantasize about being rich, i do it in an obscene manner. none of this semi-tasteful upper-middle class shit. no, i want to visit a new country every week. rent a villa in tuscany and fly me and my family out on a private jet. i want to donate several years worth of operating budgets to multiple non-profits. i want to endow a chairship, send multiple people through college/art school/med school, buy a 67 mustang for myself and an early model datsun z for my partner and outfit them to be fueled by bio diesel. i want to wear bespoke shoes and suits while tromping the grounds of my scottish castle. i want to sponsor solar panel programs for low-income, first-time homeowners, only, of course, after slapping panels on every property i own. these things cannot be done with a mere 500 grand (which, after taxes and paying off my loans and debts, would be more like 100k). no, if i'm going to win, i'll need the bucu bucks, at least 10 million to start. secondly, this piece is less about actually winning than it is the ritual of buying the tickets, waiting and hoping. it's about examining my own struggle for financial security whilst trying to remain artistically authentic. it's about seeing exactly how far my imagination can go if the sky is the limit, and then somehow reaching for those dreams with what i have in front of me. it's about that cheesey metaphor between the whims of the arts establishment and the near impossibility of the lottery draw.

after deciding on mega millions, i had to choose numbers. when i was doing my initial research, i carefully copied down a list of numbers that had thus far yielded the most picks (the website breaks down and publishes this information). but again, i realized that somehow this needed to be a very personal set of numbers. i did various types of brainstorming for numbers. i played with birthdays of myself and those in my family, birth months and years. i figured out my numerology number. i added every number in my birthday together, i multiplied the number of people in my family times other dates. i came up with a set of numbers. i then eliminated any figures with the number 4 in it (4 is a very unlucky number in japan, as it is a homonym with "death"). then, with a dash of chances processes and intuition, i came up with this set of numbers:
2=my numerology number
7=the birthday month of both my partner and my father, and the day of my brother's birthday
11=my birthday month
29=my current age
37=the year my mother was born
8 (megaball)=my mother and my brother's birth month

and so now you know my game! wish me luck!

starving artist: the lotto plan

when i became a "full-time" artist seven months ago, i only had a vague plan: i would support myself by spending my savings for a while, apply for grants and fellowships, and take freelance jobs here and there to make ends meet.

i auditioned for stuff. i submitted my work to film festivals and exhibitions. i applied for every grant, award, and residency i could find. and then i started receiving the inevitable: rejection after rejection.

around mid-april, the string of rejections lead to a deep neurosis about my financial stability.
my money was disappearing quick, and very little i did would replenish it. i sold some things. i put ads on my website. i opened a cafepress store. but my neuroses lead to me spending more time thinking about money rather than being creative. what use was it for me to quit my job if i wasn't going to make things?

at the advice of my therapist, i took a part-time job sanding in a woodshop. i enjoy it a lot; i use my hands and have to trust my senses with every piece of wood that hits my workbench. working with wood is an engrossing craft, even meditative.

but as much as i enjoy woodworking, i know that it is not my calling. and even though i took it to earn some money, i'm making less than half of what i did working at UT.

so even though i am not nearly as neurotic as i was about four months ago, money is often on the mind.

when i am this strapped for cash, i find myself budgeting on what i call "the lotto plan." i think a lot of us do it--think about all the things we would do with more money than we can even imagine. my plans (which i will probably explore here over time) often involve: paying off my student loans and credit card debt; donating money to various social justice and arts organizations that need it, commissioning art from my artist friends; paying for my partner to go on leave; flying a whole bunch of friends and family to austin for a huge party; buying group healthcare for all these uninsured dykes i know; traveling to a different place every month...

"the lotto plan" has been very active in my mind. i find myself telling folks, "when i win the lotto..." i'll buy you a horse, i'll get us a pool, i'll buy that table saw off you, i'll own a biodiesel truck.

it's exciting to think about the possibilities, even if you are faced with the impossibility of numbers. in my mind, getting a sizeable grant or competitive residency feels just as hard, if not harder, than winning the lotto. i remember a professor from college telling me about how competitions were decided on what a judge ate for breakfast.

all these factors have lead me to a perform conceptual piece i will carry out for the next year called, "starving artist." here is the score"

• i will buy one mega millions lotto ticket for every drawing (tuesday and friday)
  
• i will use numbers that are personally significant
• i will use only one set of numbers throughout the year
• i will collect the stubs and mount them on a medium as an archive/visual aspect of the piece
• in the event that i win something, i will claim the prize and retain a copy of the stub to be added to the piece

and so, the journey begins.