process, process, fucking process!

okay.
so, because i mentioned that damned comic to all of you, i have actually been trying to work on it all week. and then i read this comment by la rebelde and something hit me. maybe i can actually post it without all the fanfare. maybe i can reveal to you my crappy sketches and my chicken scratch handwriting. maybe this isn't the project to get nit-picky and super anal about. maybe imperfection has its charms.

and so it goes. it's not like i'll win a macarthur with this comic. geez! and then i can cross something off my damn list! woohoo. okay, so in the interest of respecting the creative process, below i am sharing every bit of this comic with all of you. i beg your patience. please note that if you click on the images, they will open bigger on a new page. (incidentally, i have played around with the comic medium. you can see some examples of my comic post cards here and here.)

draft one:

the text reads: panel 1: *a 'funny' joke from the shop...*; "hey, why are women so bad at measuring?"
panel 2: "he, he. i dunno, why?"
panel 3: "cause they think six inches is this big!"
panel 4: *in my head, i think of a funny response...*; "hmmm"
panel 5: "why are dykes so good at measuring?"
panel 6: "'cause when six inches is this big, they return it to the store!"
panel 7: "he, he." *smug look*

well, this was really rough, which was fine. so then i began drawing a more refined version of it in pencil, here:


and then it hit me. it wasn't necessary to cram eight panels into one sheet of paper, since it wouldn't show up so well online (as the scan above shows). so then i started drawing individual panels at about two per page. my plan was to sketch out each one and then trace it with pen onto vellum.

so here is page one:


and here is the first image traced onto vellum:


second page:


of course, the fatigue sets in and my drawing slowly got sloppy:

but note the valiant effort of trying to perfect my hand grasping the makita brand sander.

and finally, i tried to start the next one with my hand beginning to cramp:


and then i thought, "like i'm gonna get a macarthur with this comic! just post the fucking thing!"

voila!

on roots

so,
this weekend i've been cooking a fair amount. surprising, considering that we ordered t-day dinner in (for the past four t-days, i have cooked a huge meal for family and friends; this year we took a break). last night, i cooked oatmeal bread based on this recipe from the slow cook. my version wasn't nearly as light and fluffy as the slow cook's (probably due to the fact that i used whole wheat flour for half of the recipe), but it has been delicious.

today, i decided i wanted to tackle the roots i bought. last week, for my birthday, wonderful partner took me to an excellent foodie-type place called zoot. there, we tried a beautifully earthy root salad that has haunted me all week. so when i went to the co-op yesterday, i loaded up on beets, parsnips, turnips, and carrots. if there were rutabaga and celery root, i would have gotten that, too. so, after much web research (is that an oxymoron?), i found a great recipe at tea & cookies and combined it with this one at recipe bazaar. here is the dish going into the oven:

and here is how it looked after the oven:

and finally, my dinner plate from tonight:

note the slice of oatmeal bread that i baked last night. the sausage is locally made bratwurst that i sauteed in beer. the potatoes are left over from some i bought to make mash to use up the gravy we ordered in for t-day. anyway, it was very yummy.

nothing to do with the lotto, i know. and you might say it has nothing to do with art, either. well, i'm trying to get back on the artist's way and i'm on a chapter about abundance. one of the tasks is to bake or cook. i guess this is my version.

on how to do everything and yet nothing at all

so yet another t-day has come and gone and here i am on the other side of thirty. and i'm both moving and stuck at the same time. ever have one of those days (or months, or years) where you feel like you are doing a lot of things, yet nothing seems to get DONE? well, welcome to my world.

things have been getting done, i mean, kinda. i finally uploaded that website i've been working my ass off to complete. you can see it here. it turned out pretty okay, and far more web compliant than i thought when i started.

this being my second web gig, i have one more to go before i'll be out of those gigs. i've been writing to people on craigslist to try to get freelance stuff, but alas! if any of you readers wants a webdesigner, lemme know. ah, who am i kidding? most folks who want to do web design either know how to do it themselves or are willing to shell out lots and lots of money to get someone with a graphic design degree to do it. but i thought i would ask.

so, like i says, i feel like i'm doing a lot, but nothing gets done. nothing of mine, that is! in fact, last week, i sat at the piano, and worked on a few lines from a song i've been writing. great! now it's further along, but how much do you wanna bet it won't be done by the end of the year? have i mentioned that list i keep on my wall of my projects in progress? have i reported checking any of them off?

i guess what i'm coming up against is a deluge of inspiration, but a certain lack of focus. every time i read a friends blog or look at a book, i think, "cool, that's actually doable, i can do something like that..." and the truth is, i can. but what happens when i have this scattered body of work, everything a first go, but hardly any sophomore works in the same medium? am i destined to do one-offs for the rest of my life? how the hell can i expect someone to pay me as an artist to do that?

one person who has actually been inspiring me in these moments is kristina wong. it seems she went through similar woes only a couple of years back and now i look at her and am totally inspired by where she has been going. then, of course, the insecurity sets in, where i think: well, kristina is so good at just getting stuff done, and she's started to focus on stuff, and maybe i think i can do stuff like she can, but what if i try and find out i'm not half as talented as she is? and stuff. it's a tough place to be.

and i've been working on different blog posts for a while, and this isn't even one i've been working on! shit on a stick, i say. shit on a stick. well, if you see a comic posted here about my days at the shop, please know that i've actually finished one of my projects, as tiny as it might be.

blerg.

updates

very quick ones. number one: i quit my job at the shop. it was time. number two: i have started tutoring, although i only have one student so far. number three: i turn thirty in seven hours. woo-hoo! now i won't feel like the baby around all my friends! i have been working on posts for this, but will upload them upon completion. just letting you know, i'm still here!

oh yeah!

btw, i wanted to share with you, my dear readers. a couple days after my depressing post, one of the craigslist leads i wrote to (under the assumption nothing would happen, of course) sent me a message that they wanted to cast me in a new play. and so, i am the "puckish" character in an ensemble production called, "nighthawks," written by alpha, of passion fruit video.

so yay!

hi there, ho there

haven't posted for a while. there's been a funeral and deadlines and such. i'm considering leaving my woodshop job in pursuit of greener pastures. the shop has become a bit of an albatross in my life, i no longer enjoy just working with wood. my friend at the shop has quit and there are some unpleasant people there.

the idea is to make more money so that i can work less. we'll see. any suggestions?