on crazymakers

in the artist's way, julia cameron spends a significant section on "crazymakers." here is what she says:

"crazymakers are those personalities that create storm centers. they are often charismatic, frequently charming, highly inventive and powerfully persuasive. and, for the creative person in their vicinity, they are enormously destructive."

in addition, she lists the following bullet point descriptors. crazymakers:
break deals and destroy schedules
expect special treatment
discount your reality
spend your time and money
triangulate those they deal with
are expert blamers
create dramas--but seldom where they belong
hate schedules--except their own
hate order
deny that they are crazymakers

she doesn't go so far as to say, "eradicate those crazymakers from your life," but rather says instead that we should ask why we still tolerate them. why we let them block our creativity.

i have spent a lot of time with crazymakers. i once tried to direct a show where half the cast were crazymakers. of course, that show never happened.

i know that i have been a crazymaker in the lives of others. i think we all have the potential to be crazymakers. but we actively choose not to be. it's an act of vigilance.

lovely, wonderful, sage-like partner has encouraged me to allow my anger toward my recent crazymaker to blossom. i am angry. but i can't let it go completely. i see the crazymaker in myself and falter. but i think i need to embrace the rage. because i've worked so hard to not be a crazymaker to others. i deserve the same courtesy.

i do. i really do.