on inappropriate laughter

ahhhhhh, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

i've been fired, y'all! from the play that i've spent many months working on. from the play that i had to get over my kissing anxiety with. from the play that i've worked very very hard to promote and act and understand!

i started crying, but then i just kept laughing. laughing and crying, crying and laughing. like the borderline crazy that i am.

the first time i really started laughing like this was when my mom died. now it's just second nature to me. uncomfortable? laugh loud. sad? laugh loud. mourning? laugh loud. livid with anger? laugh loud.

i can't even write here what all the reasons and problems were that have led to this. i'm tempted to slander a certain someone and sit back and enjoy the carnage. but there is a part of me that just can't do that.

so i laugh.

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

you should know that only yesterday i was pressed by the producer of the show to *promise* to stay on, because i have brought "such a sincerity and depth" to my character. you should know i was considering leaving but after yesterday, i decided to stay on anew. you should know that i was fired over voicemail.

there are other details, but really, that would just be too much.

i'm an unemployed actor, y'all!

Hah. Hah. Hah.